s4 e6: the laws of gods and men



MONDAY IS GAME OF THRONES WRITE-UP DAY FOREVER MORE, OK.

HELLO.

i'm not doing a khaleesi or jon snowphie dress up this week because im currently ill and look like shit and should not be photographed under any circumstances because my face is literally like the basilisk in harry potter, one look at it and you will drop down petrified and have to wait around for some mandrakes to mature so that you can regain conciousness. that is how awful i look. i feel very sorry for myself. plus i took all my sheets off my bed yesterday to wash them and then got ill and now im too feeble to put them back on so im lying on a bare duvet surrounded by empty peanut butter kitkat wrappers (my only sustenance).

all in all i feel a bit shitty.

BUT GAME OF THRONES IS HERE TO MAKE EVERYONE WELL AGAIN
so without any further ado, lets begin. are you sitting comfortably



Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode Six: 
The Laws of God and Men

Scene 1: BRAAVOS

new place new place new place!
This episode had me bobbing up and down with excitement before the actual show even began. Finally, something new in the title sequence. We're out of Westeros and having a little explore of one of the Free Cities I was talking about in my last post. Guys, we have a new place! A new place, guys! Gather round! Admire it! Stroke it! Love it! Hold it tight and never let it go!

So this is Braavos, and it's about bloody time we got here. Although, without giving anything away, I was a bit stumped at the fact that it was Stannis and Davos in Braavos, and not a certain someone else. As far as I can remember, they don't go to Braavos in the books. In fact, they're headed way elsewhere. What are you doing Stavos and Dannis, sort it out.

mycrofttt ♥
Anyway, I can't really complain, because we get the wonderful MARK GATISS playing Tycho Nestoris. I say Mark Gatiss but he's actually Mycroft in my head and always will be. Any sort of Sherlock/Game of Thrones link is fine by me. In fact, I think some sort of internet petition needs to be arranged to get Benedict Cumberbatch in the cast as well. Or like, an entire spin-off. I want Benedict Cumberbatch playing a young Tywin Lannister and I want it now. But like, a proper Sherlock/GoT crossover so whenever young Tywin looks anywhere he sees those floaty clue words like Sherlock except it's Game of Thrones world so when he looks at Ned Stark he sees "gruff", "wolf", "winter is coming", "nice cloak", "i want to touch his beard" and "bastard son isn't actually his bastard son". Actually, let's go the whole hog and get Doctor Who involved too. Dr Who kidnaps Sherlock and takes him across space and time to Game of Thrones world where he uses his mind palace to secure his family's position as the most powerful in the land but on the way there they lost Dr Watson in the space/time vortex who ended up in Middle Earth with amnesia and woke up thinking he's Bilbo. Oh my god.

It's possible.

Also, kudos to Stannis and Ser Davos for not looking up the giant metal warriors skirt as they sailed underneath, I would definitely have had a cheeky glance. 

Anyway, Stavos and Dannis are in Braavos for a meeting with the rather intimidating heads of the Iron Bank. I talked about the Iron Bank in my last post, how they are basically a medieval superbank mafia squad type thing. Basically, Tywin Lannister borrowed an awful lot of money from them in order to fight the war against the Starks and the other rebels. He has not yet been able to pay them back. Stannos and Daviss are basically saying "OK if you back us and make Stannis king we'll make sure you get all your money back that you're owed, we're a good investment."

this sums it up better. just say it in a georgie accent in your head:


The guy frolicking with prostitutes in the bath is Sallador Saan, a pirate. He was the one who provided Stannis with the ships that were burned and sunk at the Battle of Blackwater in Season 2.

Scene 2: Yara vs. Ramsay

uh oh ramsay got hot.
Arya. Margaery. Grandma Tyrell. Daenerys. The women of Game of Thrones are absolutely owning it this season. Now we can add Yara to the list of female characters that are giving the men as good as they get. Yara (called Asha in the books) is Theon's sister. As one of the Ironborn (sort of similar to Vikings) she's pretty bloody tough. No silk dresses and songs and Sansa-ing going on here.

Theon is still being held captive by Ramsay Snow/Bolton, the bastard (in both senses of the word) son of Roose Bolton. Ramsay is still pretty much in control of the North after razing Winterfell to the ground. He's been torturing Theon, and sent his castrated penis back to his father and sister in a box. 

Theon's father wasn't interested in saving his son. He no longer considers him a man and, seeing as he won't be able to continue to bloodline, doesn't see any point in bothering to rescue him. So it's up to Yara to save her little brother from further mutilation. It turns out, however, that Theon doesn't want to go. A struggle ensues; Ramsay himself turns up. A little scuffle, a little blood spilt, then he sets the dogs on them. Yara is forced to leave without Theon. "My brother is dead" she says. 

Theon, or at least the person Theon was, is dead. He has been completely brainwashed. He no longer thinks that he is Theon Greyjoy but a servant of Ramsay's called 'Reek'.  He thinks that the rescue attempt is another one of Ramsay's tricks (remember when Ramsay pretended to save him once, and the other time he got those two girls to come in and turn Theon on before he castrated him?). He thinks Ramsay is trying to test his loyalty, and that is why he refuses to go with Yara. He is afraid that it is another ploy that will lead to him being brutally punished once more.

I've been saying it for weeks, but Ramsay really is a nasty piece of work and he's only going to get worse. He's Joffrey's replacement. In the next scene, when he makes Theon undress, you can see that sly little sadistic smile playing on his face as he surveys the scars he's left on Theon. Yep, the character of Ramsay Snow- and his next little scheme involving Theon- is one to look forward to. Hats off to Iwan Rheon (aka. creepy Simon from Misfits) for portraying crazy Ramsay so bloody well so far. And I would personally like to thank HBO for getting Iwan Rheon shirtless and bloodied up on my TV screen, much appreciated.



i should hope so ramsay you filthy tease.

I can't be arsed talking about Daenerys this week except for 

a) another new dress hooray

b) BIG DRAGON GOT BIG.



omg its goats again. this is a very goat orientated season.



Scene 3: Tyrion's trial

grumpus mumpus
I'm not even joking. Peter Dinklage deserves another Emmy for this scene alone.

I won't go into it too much, because it's all pretty evident. One thing I did wonder; there's a scene with Jaime making an offer to his father, saying that he will give up his position as a member of the Kingsguard (where he can't marry or have children) if Tywin spares Tyrion's life. This is something Tywin has been after for ages. He doesn't even hesitate before he says "done" and agrees to the deal. I wondered if perhaps the whole trial was one of Tywin's ploys. He knew that Jaime would do whatever he could to save his brother's life, and so Tywin has used Tyrion's life as a bargaining tool to get what he wants, ie. Jaime to continue the Lannister line. It is also interesting how much emphasis Tywin puts on Jaime having children that will be called Lannister. Does he know that Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella Baratheon are Jaime's bastards?

Anyway, its trial time. It's stuff we expected. People who Tyrion had offended crawling out of the woodwork to bring about his downfall, such as Meryn Trant (who beat up Sansa, he's a douche) and Grand Maester Pycelle (Tyrion cut his glorious beard off). No surprises from those witnesses. But then Shae comes in. Shae who Tyrion truly loved, and who truly loved him (or so it seemed). And you can literally see his heart breaking. 

The Shae in the show is much more likeable than the Shae in the books. The Shae in the books is a bit of a silly girl, not really much to her at all. She betrays Tyrion after being promised a house and a husband if she testifies against him. The Shae in the show, however, is fleshed out. She's more real, she has motivations and a plausible personality and we see her get hurt. She seems to genuinely care for Tyrion, and she thinks that he is leaving her. All the trouble started when he married Sansa- young, beautiful, highborn- and Shae, a common 'whore' feels she cannot compete. All the times when Tyrion is trying to get her to leave King's Landing for her own safety, she thinks he is trying to get rid of her. She thinks that he is tired of her and wants her gone. He has, in her eyes, betrayed her, and so she betrays him. 

When Shae talks, you can see Tyrion crumble. He has finally had enough. He wishes everyone dead. All the anger, all the bitterness, all the humiliation he has had to endure bubbles up in one long, loathsome rant. You can literally see the seething anger in his face, the hatred. And that bit of acting, I think, should earn Peter Dinklage an Emmy. It's fantastic. This is what Game of Thrones is all about. Not tits and blood and unicorns or whatever, but this; raw emotion and incredible acting by the core actors.

The episode ends with Tyrion demanding a trial by combat. That'll be next week, I'm assuming, and another big episode.


so much swag it hurts





anyway that's all for now, im tired and ill so im gonna curl up in my newly made bed (kitkat energy kicked in and i was de-feebled for long enough to put the duvet cover on) and watch the walking dead whilst probably overdosing on strepsils, peaaace x